Do You Believe in Mom?

Our priest told this story at church today.  I was trying to recount it when it occurred to me that it must be on the internet.  I found it and modified it a bit.  I suffered the pretense of thinking I'd be able to word it a little better.  Fortunately for me (and you) I'm a flippin' genius wordsmith.  Anyway, here it is:

In the belly of a pregnant woman, there were two babies. One of them said to the other:

“So you believe in life after birth, eh?”

“Of course I do. There must be something after birth. Maybe we're here to prepare for what'll happen later.”

“Oh, right! There's no life after birth! What do you propose that life would be like?”

“I don't know. Maybe it's a place with more light. Why else would we have eyes?”

“Don't be ridiculous! And how would we move around in this “afterlife” you talk about? I mean, how far could we go? The umbilical cord only stretches so far. And we need the umbilical cord. That's how we get our food. We'd starve to death in your afterlife.”

“Maybe in the afterlife, we'll be able to feed ourselves.”

“Ha! I suppose we'd put food in our mouths or something!”

“Why not? Didn't you ever suppose that maybe our mouths were for more than just sucking our thumbs? We may be talking about an entirely new dimension!  Who knows what life will be like out there?”

“I'll tell you what it'll be like. Short! In two minutes we'll dry up and die outside of this life-giving fluid we're floating around in.”

“Maybe we won't need the fluid. Maybe that's just a temporary situation. Maybe we'll be able to lose the umbilical cord and walk around out there.”

“On our legs, I suppose. That's a good one!”

“I happen to think they must be good for something more than kicking these walls – satisfying as that may be.”

“It is satisfying! When I get pissed off at the meaninglessness of our life floating around in the darkness, that sometimes feels like the only satisfaction I'll ever have. Don't take that away from me!”

“Maybe we're here for something better than just kicking walls. I believe there's gotta be more than just this. Maybe life will be different than what we're used to in here.”

“Look. No one has ever returned from the afterlife. Eventually, we get pushed out and that's it. You die and it's all over. Birth is the end of life. And ultimately, life is nothing but a distressing existence in the dark that leads us nowhere.”

“Well, I don't know exactly how it'll be after birth, but surely we'll see Mom and she'll take care of us.”

“MOM? You believe in MOM? And where is she now?”

“She's all around us! We're inside her and it's thanks to her that we're alive. Without her, this whole world wouldn't exist.”

Well, I've never seen Mom. And the reason I've never seen her is that she doesn't exist.”

“Okay, but sometimes, when we're silent, you can hear her or feel that she's caressing our world, y'know? I think there's a real life out there and that we're only just preparing for it now.”

“Okay, smart guy. Move over. Why don't you go out there first when the time comes? I'll take the extra couple of minutes of life, thank you very much. That may not sound like alot, but it'll seem like forever when you're getting forced out of this place.”

“Fine! Get out of my way. I'm not afraid of birth!”